While making the move from Chicago to San Francisco was a big change for us, there was another even bigger one… moving in together. We had separate apartments in Chicago (about a block from each other) and while I had already done the long-distance move thing when I first moved from New Jersey, I’ve actually never had a roommate. And while overall living together has been a great experience, I’d be lying if I told you everything was instantly perfect – there have definitely been ups and downs and we’re both constantly learning and adjusting as we find our living together harmony.

Some lessons we’ve learned along the way:

1. Compromise is king: Listen, when two people with two different personalities and opinions share a space, somethings gotta give sometime. Be flexible and willing to compromise and don’t hold a grudge over something “not being fair”. Living together is about give and take, from the big to the small and if both people share that mentality, things will be a lot easier in the long run.
2. It’s okay to need some space: Don’t feel guilty or get offended if the other person wants some alone time, it’s natural! Doing your own thing is what will keep you feeling like you and sometimes you just have to go for a walk or go in the other room and close the door. Having respect each other’s space and alone time will only make your relationship better.
3. Divide and conquer: There’s always ton of stuff that needs to get done around the house and things will be a ton easier if you divvy up chores and duties. Pick the things you each enjoy doing the most or are better at and “assign” those to each other to do on an ongoing basis. Take turns on miscellaneous errands and resist the urge to do everything together at all times – a divide and conquer approach will save you a ton of time, even if it means giving up a little control.
4. Different vs. wrong: This was the toughest for me during the first month or so – when you live on your own you naturally develop your own method of doing things, some of which may be rather particular. Before blowing up over the “wrong” way of folding laundry or washing the dishes take a moment and think about if there’s actually any real issue in the way things are being done, or if it’s just different. Relax! Different can be okay even if it’s not your way.
5. Choose your battles: With more time together comes more opportunities for fights over stupid little things that can escalate quickly. Be choice-full with your words and conscious of your actions. Know when it’s better to just shut up than make that side comment that’s running through your head.

Do you live with your significant other? What are some of the most important lessons you’ve learned to keep things happy at home?